A relationship is defined by the Collins dictionary as “a close connection between two people, especially one involving romantic or sexual feelings.”

You may posit there are many contexts in which relationships exist, like a friendship, tenant-landlord or boss and employee.

However, a “close connection” foreshadows that deep and intimate longing one has for their significant other.

It is crucial in my view to define that very word relationships because the meaning in these modern times is so conveniently being blurred by the media and modern society.

Besides the changing nature of relationships in these times, whether it be moving away from monogamy or exclusive relationships with the opposite sex, I discover a deeper and often sinister attempt to subvert society itself.

A strong society is compromised of a collection of families that have a deep relationship that sustains them in the harshest of times. To be innovative and resourceful and excel under pressure because they have others who they can rely on.

The idea of family itself is under full blown attack today.

The family at its core begins with a singular unit of two partners, generally, a man and woman coming together in love.

Procreation of young leads to the expansion of that singular family unit.

The Family, a long held and celebrated notion that precedes any successful society, today sadly is being discarded and deliberately torn down by the world.

The modern world has brainwashed people into believing individuality is the only strength we possess and family or relationships are a constraint on self expression or some arbitrary notion of freedom.

Take the media for instance, decades and decades of the 20th and now 21st century has portrayed a fallacy of what a true and loving relationship is.

You see TV shows like Sex and the City or basically any sitcom since the ‘90s portray relationships as not exclusive in many senses.

Generally, in the screenplay of life set in this make belief TV or Cinematic world, a relationship is no longer about commitment or exclusivity, rather it is filled with casual dating and hook up culture.

However, in my observations, the most subtle and insidious deviation to relationships has come in the form of how life in a relationship is shown on these TV shows and movies.

Relationships are portrayed as an ancillary and often minuscule part of the character’s life that plays out on the side. The main focus of the characters lives are shown to be their friendships.

Take a common scene from Sex and the City that has played out more times than I can count, where the 4 best friends gather and live out their lives together in brunches and dinners soaking in life and basking in the glory of their string of failed relationships and sexual encounters.

The characters are shown as living out their BEST life because they are able to hang out and enjoy each other’s company all the while the rest of their lives are taking a back seat. They are shown as being strong and driven and accomplished only to ignore the most important unit of society, their family or relationship.

Disclaimer: There is absolutely nothing wrong with friendships and having friends even when in a committed relationships. The level of commitment however can never tip in the favour of friendships over your significant other.

Over and over again you see the media push this narrative that modern lives are just a collection of hangouts with our friends to whom we can gossip and bring our lives to for evaluation and validation.

Here are some more examples:

People who are watching these TV shows not as pieces of fiction but are so engrossed in them, they start seeing them as documentaries, are in peril of retreating into this imaginary world.

The severe danger to buying into this illusion is believing life is only good.. fun.. and defined by a person’s friendships.

Even when we may have a loving partner, children or family, the modern world is telling us, life has to be lived out as shown on these TV shows, otherwise our life is boring or almost incomplete.

Modern relationships are being undermined to the extent, people no longer prioritise their significant other, but start seeing their boyfriend or husband or girlfriend in the same category as their friends. As just another piece of their life to bolt on and have around because that’s what the media tells us a person needs to be fulfilled.

There is a reason we refer to certain people as our significant others.. ‘Significant’ or ‘Boyfriend’ or ‘Husband’ or ‘Wife.’ These relationships must be exclusive in their connection but also be above the plain of friendships and acquaintances in our lives.

Real life is played out within our homes, in our relationships with our partner.. it is not played out just with our friends sitting at a restaurant, cafe or pub.

The relationship, if people are blessed enough to find a loving partner, is something it be cherished and safe-guarded.

Modern relationships are like a woman who buys a pretty flowering plant, she is excited at the start and showers the plant with love and attention, only to fade into the fog of life and take the beauty of that plant for granted. She is busy tending to other plants she had amassed in her life, till one day that flowering plant withers and dies. She still has a plant, it takes up the same space in her life, but is now dead.

A loving relationship is the building block of society, and then comes the kids and extended family. Societies where the family unit is being eroded, are headed towards a chaos of our own making.

We can correct this tilt, just start valuing our partners and family.. people outside the relationship or family unit will come and go but your partner (if committed) will be with you for your life. They will be the ones who feed you when you can no longer eat, or give you a shower when you can’t stand… not your friends.. even your best friends will always have a life of their own. If they are wise, they won’t ignore their relationships for you.